Catalyst (Connectivity Book 2) Read online

  “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Jasmine asked, startling him as she moved in next to him.

  “Hey, Jazz. Just watching how happy they are to be talking to others who understand. I know they don't mind being alone, but it’s nice to see them with couple friends. Who would have thought they’d find another Connective couple so close, huh?”

  “Aww. You’re so sweet, Trav.” Jasmine nudged him with her shoulder and he smiled at her.

  “That’ll be you one day,” he replied, nicking his chin out toward his parents. “You’ll have to navigate the ins and outs of being a Connective couple, too.”

  “Don’t you start with all that mopy business, Trav. It’s not like you’re gonna die alone, you know? Even if you don’t carry the Cat gene, you can still find someone to love. I’m the one who has to wait around wonderin’ when, or if, it’ll happen. Even if you don’t see it that way, you have more freedom than I ever will.”

  “You’re right. I don’t see it that way.” He frowned when Jasmine laughed. “Maybe after growing up watching the loving and caring way Mom and Dad have always been, I just don’t feel like I could settle for less, you know? Who would want half of something, if they knew they could have the whole?”

  “Aww, baby brother. I’m sorry you’re so unhappy. Maybe you could just find someone to take your mind off of it for a while. Maybe hang out with the guys, meet some new people. It wouldn’t kill you to even go out on a date, you know?”

  Unbidden, Travis’s mind conjured the image of Jersey’s flirty eyes and his soft-looking hair caressing his shoulders as they danced together at the wedding.

  “What was that look, Travis?” Jasmine demanded. “I know you, and you don’t make that face. You’re always all smiles. What did you just think about?” She nudged him again. “Or maybe the question is, who did you just think about?”

  Travis squirmed and he knew his cheeks had darkened from being called out. He’d never really let his mind wander to consider possibilities with anyone else like he had with Jersey. Allowing himself to fantasize about someone, to the point that his sister noticed his distraction, was totally uncharted territory.

  “Travis,” Jasmine demanded, drawing out his name. “Are you holdin’ out on me?” She raised her eyebrows in question and surprise, placing her hand on her hip.

  Travis squirmed again.

  “Oh my God, you are! You are thinkin’ about someone, Travis Robert Williams!”

  “Shhh,” he shushed his sister with a warning look. “Would you be quiet and stop freaking out?”

  “No, I don’t think so!” she squealed, but quieter, her voice laced with excitement. “My baby bro finally has his first crush! Well, it is about damn time, Trav. Who is this mystery person? When do we get to them?”

  He had to hand it to his sister for her use of gender-neutral pronouns. At nineteen, for him to have never really had a crush before, of course she wouldn’t know one way or the other which gender he preferred. He himself would hardly classify his preference one way or another. He’d just never really been all that attracted to anyone. But did he have a crush on Jersey? He certainly responded to the man in the physical sense and they seemed to get along in conversation alright. Maybe he was just crushing because Jersey was one of the only people to make him feel anything. Wait… He was kinda crushing—

  “It’s not a crush, Jazz.”

  “Oh, it totally is! You just had to think about it and I knew you were gonna deny it, but my bro has a look about him. Mhmm. Tell me, Trav. Please,” she begged, pouting at him and drawing the word out.

  “There’s nothing to tell, Jazz. Nothing is going on.”

  “Why not? Are they married or already seein’ someone else?” Travis shook his head and she continued. “Then what’s the problem? Travis, this is the first time in my life that I have ever even seen you consider someone. Please don’t tell me that you’re holding off because of the Cat thing. You know that may never happen and there is nothin’ wrong with dating someone who isn’t your Complement. Or even showin’ interest in someone,” she stated quickly before he could protest the word dating. “You are a young, handsome, biracial man and there is no need for you to deny yourself these feelings. Live a little, brother. If you’re interested, see where it goes.”

  Travis considered her words. He could possibly convince himself to at least get the man’s phone number in a strictly-friends and casual-hanging-out kind of way. Maybe when Cory and Josh reemerged from their wedding night hangover, several days later phase, he could suggest they all go out somewhere together, Jersey included, and he could test the waters a bit. Get a feel for whether or not Jersey was interested. He’d seemed interested at the wedding, but maybe in the light of a new day, he would have changed his mind.

  Would spending time with Jersey be such a bad thing? Travis didn’t think so. He could do casual.

  “Maybe,” he told his sister and she squealed again, drawing looks from his parents and their guests. “Would you hush?” he scolded her. “If I did anything about it, it would be strictly casual, got it?” She nodded eagerly. “Geez Jazz. I think you’re more excited about this than I am.”

  “Of course I’m excited. My baby bro is finally gonna allow himself to enjoy life and all its pleasures,” she teased and Travis blushed. “Oh, Travis, I’m only teasin’. Just have fun with it. See where it goes. Maybe you hate each other and you never want to see them again. But so what? That’s life. You won’t know until you start livin’ it.” Jasmine nudged him with her shoulder. “I’m proud of you. And I’m excited for you. I love you, Travy-wavy.”

  “Thanks, Jazzy. I love you, too. But, no promises.” He pointed at her sternly.

  She nodded. “Do I at least get a name?” Travis glared at her and she held up her hands in surrender. “Fine. No name… For now.” She turned, heading over to the table that was occupied by the parents, listening in to Brian and Monica talk about house hunting.

  Maybe tomorrow he’d text Cory or Josh to see how they were doing, and if he happened to bring up a certain smallish someone, then he could hardly be blamed for his curiosity.

  ~

  By Wednesday, Travis still hadn’t reached out to Cory or Josh about getting Jersey’s number. He’d thought of a million excuses for why he shouldn’t bother them, but even though he was reluctant to admit it, what had started out as daydreaming about Jersey, had since turned into night-dreaming, as well.

  The last several nights Travis had woken up with the lingering sensation of running his fingers through soft touchable hair and trailing the pads of his fingertips over lush full lips. His fingers had almost tingled in the morning, as his mind struggled to wake up, while other parts of him, had been more than interested in partaking in whatever his subconscious had conjured. He’d been achingly hard in the mornings and even taking cold showers seemed to have little effect on his situation. He’d had to get up and go for a run each morning to try to distract himself from thinking too much about it, but it hadn’t been easy to run in his condition either.

  He stripped off his shirt and tossed it toward his laundry hamper, as he came in from his run. Grabbing up his phone to check for any missed messages while he been running, Travis noticed a new text from a number he didn’t recognize.

  >I had a dream about you.

  He knew exactly who had sent the message. What were the odds that Jersey had had a dream about him, on the same night he’d had a dream about Jersey?

  Without overthinking too much, he replied.

  >I had a dream about you too.

  Less than thirty seconds later, as Travis sat nervously staring at his phone, a new message came through.

  >I was laying on your chest, tucked up into your side. You had your arm around me.

  The blood that Travis had worked so hard to get out of his pants returned within seconds and he swallowed.

  >I was running my hands through your hair and my fingers over your lips.

  He felt his face burn at the admission, but
from the safety and solitude of his bedroom and the fact that the other man confessed his dream first, Travis was pretty certain that his words wouldn’t be unwelcome.

  >It wasn’t the first time.

  >Me either.

  >Are you free for lunch?

  After the world fastest mental check, he replied.

  >Yes

  When a full two minutes passed and Jersey hadn’t responded, Travis worried his lip. He stared at the device, willing something to appear. Then, at almost three minutes, his phone chimed, startling him. The new message was simply an address and time, and just like that, nerves crept in.

  He was meeting a boy for a lunch date.

  ~

  After a scalding shower to help melt away his nerves, Travis grabbed a regular pair of jeans and white button down shirt. He figured he couldn’t go wrong with two of the most basic pieces of clothing. Not wanting to wear sneakers or the shoes he wore to Cory’s wedding, he grabbed a pair of black-and-white Chucks and picked out a red belt. He hoped he wasn’t making a bad fashion choice by selecting the belt, but he liked the way the pop of color added something to his otherwise simple outfit.

  The restaurant Jersey had chosen was slightly closer to him, but still about halfway between them. Jersey lived in Blyth Hills, near Josh’s old place and their old prep school. Although Travis rarely ventured to that side of town, he was familiar enough to know the general location of where the man would be coming from and wanting to be a little early for their lunch, he checked himself over once in the mirror.

  His brown eyes stared back at him and scanned his appearance for any problem areas. His shirt was a little tight and Jasmine had assured him that was the style when they’d shopped together last year, but looking at it in the mirror, he thought maybe he’d gotten bigger since then. It looked too tight and his arms felt constricted in the short sleeves. But he didn’t have the time or the patience to figure anything else out, so he did the standard keys, wallet, phone check, and left the house.

  The place they were meeting was at an outdoor plaza, with shops and restaurants and lots of outdoor seating. There were tables and chairs all around, and in the center, there was a large fountain that put on a mini water display every hour. Travis had been there before so he knew where to park and where the restaurant was located.

  The drive over did little to quell the returning nerves, as it gave him too much downtime to mull things over in his head.

  He parked his truck, noting that he was still ten minutes early, and quickly scanned the parking lot for Jersey’s car. Not seeing it right off, Travis headed toward the plaza. Jersey could have parked in any of several locations, so Travis wasn’t assuming the other man hadn’t gotten there early as well. He just wanted to have a little bit of an upper hand to be the one waiting, instead of being waited on. Plus, if he could observe the other guy as he approached, he might get a better feel for the man’s emotions.

  His texts seemed to indicate that he wasn’t shy or easily embarrassed to share his feelings, and he’d been the one to suggest them meeting up, so Travis didn’t feel too great of a need to worry, but of course that didn’t really matter when he was walking up to meet his first-ever lunch date.

  As he approached the entrance to the restaurant, he glanced around and didn’t see Jersey waiting outside. He peeked through the glass doors into the entryway but didn’t spot Jersey there either, so he took up a seat at one of the nearby tables with a green umbrella opened above.

  Feeling more at ease with his game plan, Travis allowed himself a quick look around. Shops of all varieties ringed the perimeter of the plaza, with the main courtyard that held all manner of events throughout the year; there was a small Santa house at Christmas, and concerts in the summer. The plaza was a favorite hangout for families and couples alike.

  Several eateries ranging from street tacos to pricey steak dinners lent an air of accommodation for all walks of life. The anchor of the plaza, however, aside from the several boutique shopping stores, was a twelve-room movie theater. People were constantly milling about, either headed to or coming from, the theater and evenings were particularly busy. When the sun set, clear fairy lights came to life, as they wound around tree trunks and up into the branches of the many ornamental trees planted around the space. And every hour, on the hour, the large fountain would put on a water display choreographed to classic melodies or current tunes.

  Just as Travis was getting out his phone to check the time, realizing the one o’clock water show had just kicked on, Jersey turned the corner, and Travis couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face.

  Jersey was wearing red skinny jeans with a black-and-white checked shirt and white sneakers. Travis thought it was almost too much of a coincidence that they’d chosen virtually the same color palette, on the same day they’d both confessed they’d dreamt of each other.

  The other boy looked like casual grace and confidence as he smiled after catching Travis giving him the once over. Travis stood up, his mother’s southern manners having been drilled into his head all his life, and opened his mouth to greet Jersey, only to be cut-off as the other boy walked right up to him and wrapped his arms around him.

  “Is it too forward to say that I missed you?” Jersey asked into his shoulder.

  Travis could hardly comprehend that Jersey had been bold enough to just walk right up to him in public and hug him like they were old friends or lovers. The other man was so sure of himself, while Travis had simply been planning to shake his hand.

  Jersey pulled back and smiled up at him. “I hope I didn’t freak you out. I know I can come on a little strong and some people don’t like that, so just tell me if I do, but I really did miss you. Is that weird?” He tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. “I know we don't know each other that well, and quite honestly, I know you know I think you’re gorgeous, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable just because I find you attractive. If I get a little too carried away with the touching, just let me know and I’ll tone it down, okay?”

  “You find me attractive?” Travis replied without really meaning to. He was a little stunned that Jersey would so casually confess those things about his feelings. Jersey threw him a look that Travis interpreted to mean obviously but spoke again before the other man could say more. “Can we just speak plainly for a minute? I mean, I guess you already are, but I need a little nudge to get on the same page as you.” Jersey nodded for him to continue and Travis sat back down, indicating for Jersey to take a seat at the table where he’d been waiting.

  “Okay, sorry. Like I said, I just need some clarification.” He wiped his palms on his jeans and continued. “I find things with you to be laced with confusion. I feel like things are being said but not said, and insinuated but never confirmed. I’m a bit of a fence-rider myself, so maybe it’s just best to lay things out for me. Are we on a date?” he asked, looking at the other man to gauge his reaction.

  “Would you like this to be a date? If we’re being candid here, I’ll confess that I have no idea if you’re even gay. Are you gay or bi? Or maybe just curious?”

  “Honestly, I know it sounds lame, but I’m not really sure what I am. I know that for a nineteen-year-old dude to not know one way or the other who he’s attracted to seems like a lie, but I’ve never really cared that much about it. I mean, sure I think some people are attractive and even responded physically to a few people,” he blushed slightly, “but it was never anything I wanted to explore. Maybe I’m a late bloomer or something, but I’ve never really cared to put a label on myself. Would I consider myself gay? No, probably not. Would I consider myself straight? Again, no, probably not. I just like to consider myself flexible, or fluid, I guess is the word some people use, but I’ve never labeled myself one thing or the other.”

  “All that being said,” Travis said, blushing harder before he even got the words out. He looked around and seeing that no one was even on their side of the plaza, continued, looking Jersey in the eye. “You’r
e the first person that I’ve ever responded to the way that I have.” He looked down at the table feeling the weight of his confession and needing to sever the intimacy of their gaze.

  Jersey moved his hand closer to Travis’s and subtly brushed his pinky along Travis’s finger. “I didn’t mean to make to you uncomfortable and I’m certainly not one for labeling things. I try to be as open-minded as possible and if something works for one person but not another, as long as it isn’t harming anyone, who cares what the other person wants? If they’re happy and their partners or interests are okay with whatever is going on, label or no label, fine. I’m sorry if I tried to fit you into a box. You said you wanted to speak plainly and I figured that was the most straightforward way of getting any answers.”

  Jersey continued. “Do I care if you don’t have a preference one way or the other? No. I would consider myself bi-curious, I guess. I’ve only ever been with men, but I’d be willing to try things with a woman if I found someone who interested me enough.” Travis gave him a look at that proclamation. One corner of Jersey’s mouth quirked up at that. “Right now I’m not particularly interested in a woman, though. There happens to be a tall, gorgeous man sitting across from me who I find very appealing at the moment, so I think you’re safe for now. We don’t have to call this a date, Travis. That wasn’t really my intention in texting you this morning. I really did just miss you and found it interesting, and arousing, that I seem to keep having dreams about you. Then when you’d replied saying that you’d had dreams about me, I wanted to see you.”

  “Speaking plainly,” Jersey said, catching Travis’s gaze again. “I like you. I thought we got along well bachelor party night, then even more so at the wedding. We seemed to work well together, and when we were dancing together, God, I thought you were so hot. I’ll admit I was playing that up a little because I was trying to get a feel for how you’d respond, but if I wasn’t mistaken, you seemed excited enough to be dancing with me.” Jersey winked and Travis blushed. There had been that one time when Jersey had gotten a little too close and probably got more than he expected when they’d brushed together. He hadn’t made a big deal out of it, thankfully, but Jersey had obviously realized that Travis had been hard.