Catalyst (Connectivity Book 2) Page 18

  Jersey set his hands on Travis’s chest and slowly ran them up and down over his heart. “Every minute we’ve been together, when I wasn’t fucking things up, you’ve been amazing. Even when I was fucking things up, or maybe especially then, you’ve been amazing. You’ve stayed and listened to me, and you’ve taken care of me even when I was being an idiot. You’ve never asked for more than I’m willing to give, even when I was trying to force you to take more. You’ve been respectful of me and everything in my past. You love your family with a fierce passion, and you want to help children with special needs, live a better life. You’re so sweet, and accepting and obviously gorgeous, and,” he looked up into Travis’s eyes, “we may not have the soul-deep Connection Josh and Cory have, but I know that I’m falling in love with you. And if the first thing you noticed about me was my looks, then I’m glad for it. I definitely noticed yours. I can’t even begin to imagine what the hell I’ve done to keep you coming back around, though. I’ve been one disaster after the next and way too much trouble for a soft soul like you. If anything, I should be the one leaving because you deserve someone better than me. And that just speaks to how terrible I am, that I’m selfish enough to want to keep you anyway.”

  Travis pressed a kiss to Jersey’s lips. “Shush. I don’t like you saying things like that about yourself.”

  “You see what I mean?” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “You defend me even from myself. How am I not supposed to love you?”

  Travis smiled and shrugged, relieved that some of the tension was melting away between them. He pulled Jersey up into another hug and he rested his chin on Travis’s shoulder.

  “Jersey?” Travis said after a quiet minute of enjoying their closeness and reaffirmation that Jersey still wanted him close. Maybe this next part would change things, but he had to get it out and let the chips fall where they may.

  “Hmm?”

  “I like you a lot. I really do. Like, a lot, a lot, but I don’t know if I can…” Travis took a deep breath. Jersey wasn’t going to like this next part. “I don’t know if I can love you, though. If, and this is a big if, but if I have a Complement out there somewhere, I was made to love them. I already love them, no questions asked. They will be the one who will hold one hundred percent of my heart. I may be able to give a piece of my heart to you, but I don’t want to hurt you if the time ever comes that I want that piece back.”

  Jersey pulled back, a swirl of emotion on his face. “So you’re just going to deny yourself any meaningful connection between now and then, on the off chance this person is even out there? What if they’re not? What if you don’t have a Complement who’s going to love you until the end of time? I know that sucks to say because even if there’s a slight chance of that happening, it’s worth holding out the hope that it could, but what about now? What about me? I’m sitting in your lap, asking for a chance to love you. I may not have a soul-deep connection to you handed down by the fates, but don’t you think we could at least be happy right now, for however long that lasts?”

  Travis searched Jersey’s imploring gaze. Could he allow himself to be happy with Jersey? He had been happy over the last few weeks. They’d definitely had their ups and downs, but, yeah, Jersey made him happy. Maybe they weren’t committing to spending their lives together, but for now, or however long they could make it work, they could be happy together. And even though, in the deepest parts of himself, Travis knew he’d already given a piece of himself to Jersey, he’d just have to hold out hope that it wouldn’t kill him to take that piece back if he ever found who fate had destined him for.

  “I think we could be happy. Like, really, really happy, Jersey.” Jersey squealed and threw his arms around Travis’s neck, hugging him half to death. “You already make me happy. And if you can forgive me for being a fool and not already seeing that, then I think we can give this a real shot.” Jersey squeezed him harder forcing a grunt out of him. “I’m not saying we’re getting married or anything, geez.” He chuckled and Jersey finally pulled back and looked at him with the most gorgeous smile and brown eyes that were shining with happiness. “Is that a yes? You wanna do this thing with me?” he teased.

  Jersey nodded eagerly. “Yes! I wanna be with you,” and he kissed Travis until both their stomachs rumbled loudly enough that they could no longer ignore them.

  Jersey climbed off Travis’s lap and after they straightened their clothes and Jersey brushed his hair once more, they finally went in search of a very late breakfast.

  -XI-

  Travis had to go into work Sunday afternoon, and as he passed the slow hours helping customers, he managed to squeeze in several slightly naughty texts to a very sexy someone.

  He chuckled to himself when his phone pinged again. He’d just come off a break where he’d sent Jersey a picture of himself posing with some lumber they had received in the loading bay. Since they were a used home and building surplus materials store, some of the wood had come in with nails that would need to be removed.

  Travis thought it would be fun to tease Jersey a bit. His caption had said something to the effect of ‘nailing wood’ with Travis sporting what he thought was a sexy pose and a smoldering look. Unfortunately, the slow trickle of DIYers that were in the store had kept him in almost constant motion and he couldn’t find a moment to check his phone again.

  As his evening wound down and he proceeded to make his way through the shop doing the usual closing routine, he noticed a familiar car parked in the parking lot.

  He smiled wide.

  The shop was still a few minutes from closing, but his boss was in the back and his coworker, Phil, was pushing a dust mop down the aisles. Seeing Jersey sitting out in his car gave Travis the incentive he needed to finish up his portion of closing quickly.

  As he made his exit from the store, Jersey climbed out if his car and gave Travis a once over that almost made him shiver. There was plenty of heat in his boyfriend’s gaze. His guy had on some well-fitted gray pants and a white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled part way up his forearms. He looked sexy and Travis wondered what he was up to.

  Jersey didn’t move from where he was perched, leaning against his car, but Travis walked right up to him and wove his fingers into the hair at the back of his head and kissed him, not at all bothered by being in public. Jersey returned his kiss but let the moment burn out before they self-destructed in the parking lot.

  “Miss me?” he teased as he flicked Jersey’s ear with his tongue.

  Jersey wrapped his arms around Travis’s neck and nodded into his shoulder. “I’m kind of shocked at how good you are at sexting. For someone who’s never had experience with it before, let’s just say you had me handling some wood of my own this afternoon.”

  Travis laughed, squeezing Jersey again. “Maybe next time I can handle your wood for you. I get paid to deal with wood, you know?”

  Jersey giggled and poked him in the side. “That was so cheesy. But hey, who am I to argue with the professional? You can handle my wood anytime, baby.” Travis grinned and pecked Jersey once more. When they looked at each other, Jersey gave him such a sweet smile. “I want to take you out to dinner. We haven’t really gone out on an official date yet and I made a reservation at Rye. I thought we could go to a movie after.”

  “Really? That’s so sweet. I’d love to go. Can we swing by my place so I can shower and change? What time is the reservation?”

  “I made it for seven-thirty. I figured you’d want to clean up after work and they’re not that busy on Sunday nights.”

  “Thank you,” Travis said. “Follow me home?”

  Jersey nodded and after one more kiss, they each got in their respective vehicles and Travis led the way to his place.

  Jersey parked on the street while Travis pulled into the driveway. They met at the walkway and joined hands, making their way to the side door.

  “Your family’s not to going to be mad that I'm stealing you away again, are they?” Jersey asked before Travis c
ould open the door.

  “Nah,” Travis replied easily, looking over at his boy. “They’ll probably be glad I finally seem to have a life.”

  Jersey nodded and seemed mollified as he followed Travis through the door.

  Travis’s mother was cooking at the stove when they entered the kitchen.

  “Hey, Mama,” Travis said as he released Jersey’s hand and moved to place a kiss on his mom’s cheek.

  “Hey, Travis. Hi, Jersey,” his mom welcomed as Jersey greeted her in return. “What are you boys up to? How was your night last night?”

  Travis smiled, feeling a hint of a blush creeping in and looked at Jersey. “It was really nice. We just hung out and talked a lot. But, Jersey was going to take me out to dinner tonight,” Travis replied as he returned to Jersey’s side and wrapped his arm behind his back while pressing a kiss to the top of Jersey’s head. “He made a reservation at Rye.”

  “Ooh, sounds nice,” his mom said, stirring the pot on the stove. “We’re just plannin’ for some pastalaya here. Nothin’ so fancy as eatin’ out tonight.”

  “Cool. Well, I’m going to shower and change, then we’ll be out of here. We’re going to hit up movie afterward too, so I’m not sure what time I’ll be home,” Travis said.

  “That’s fine, baby. You’re all grown up these days, so you don’t need to check in with me over every little thing. Though, I do hope you boys are being responsible,” she said, leveling them both with her best mom look, complete with a hand on her hip.

  Travis blushed up to his ears and a quick glance at Jersey, who tried to bury his face against Travis’s chest, proved he was about the same shade of red. “Oh my God, Mom,” he groaned in embarrassment, pulling Jersey in tightly against him. “We’re nineteen. Please don't start in with the fourteen-year-old safe-sex talk.”

  His mom smiled wide. “It’s my job to embarrass you and also to make sure you’re being safe. Now, that’s enough about that. I’m not worried. We’re all adults here and this is a safe space, so don’t worry about us makin’ a big deal about it.”

  Still feeling completely mortified, Travis turned them both and headed toward the hallway. “Thanks for that, Mom. I’m just going to go die of embarrassment now. See you later,” he called over his shoulder and Jersey snickered in front of him. When they closed the door behind them in his room, Travis groaned and flopped down on his bed. “Sorry about that,” he said and patted the bed for Jersey to join him.

  Jersey laughed and crawled up next to him. “It’s fine, Trav. It’s sweet that she’s so chill about it. She’s just being a mom. Though, I’ve gotta admit, I haven’t been on the receiving end of a safe-sex talk in a long time.”

  Travis groaned again and buried his face in the blanket, listening to his boyfriend laugh at his expense. “This is so embarrassing.”

  Jersey leaned down and kissed the back of his head, then stroked his had up and down his back. “Sorry, babe. I know it probably makes you squirm a bit, but we really haven’t had much of a sex talk between us. You know I’m no saint and I know you’re inexperienced—”

  “Thanks for not just blurting out that I’m still a virgin,” Travis cut him off, mumbling into the bed.

  Jersey chuckled again and attempted to roll Travis over. Travis complied, but once he was on his back, he flopped an arm over his eyes.

  “Babe, we don't have to get into all this right now if you don’t want to. We both know where we stand, and even though things are a little lopsided, there’s no reason to be so embarrassed about it. God knows we’ve been working our way toward more than handjobs for a while now. I should hope the blow job I gave you this morning didn’t embarrass you this much,” Jersey quipped.

  Travis peeked out from his hiding spot, feeling a new kind of heat in his body, as the memory of Jersey’s mouth on him returned full force. He lunged at his boyfriend, and Jersey made a squeak of surprise, as Travis suddenly loomed over him, pinning him to the bed with his weight. “It wasn’t embarrassing doing that with you,” Travis rumbled, feeling himself respond to the memory and his proximity to the gorgeous guy below him. “It was sexy as hell, and one of these days, I’m going to return the favor. I’ve been dying to explore your body more, and even though I’m inexperienced, I know I’m safe to explore those things with you. You never make things awkward and you’ve been extremely good at taking things at my pace.”

  Travis rolled his hips slightly and Jersey gasped, clutching onto Travis’s butt, trying to pull him in tighter. He did it again and Jersey moaned softly. Travis could feel them lined up perfectly behind their clothing. The sensation of grinding against Jersey was amazing, but he reluctantly slowed his roll and leaned down to kiss Jersey thoroughly before attempting to pull away. Jersey held the back of his head and stared up into his eyes.

  “I need to shower, babe. As much as I’d love to just stay like this, or possibly remove some clothing and continue where this is going, I don’t want us to miss dinner. Maybe we can skip the movie and go back to your place?” he asked and moved his head down to place several small kisses along Jersey’s jaw and neck. Jersey tilted his head giving him better access and smoothly maneuvered his warm hands up under Travis’s shirt, gliding them over the skin of his back.

  “Whatever you want,” Jersey replied breathily. “I did want to take you out and have a real date night,” he panted softly, “but I am definitely down for more of this if you’d rather skip the movie.” The hands that had been exploring Travis’s back, slid effortlessly down into his pants and grabbed handfuls of Travis’s butt. Travis rumbled low in his throat and thrust his hips back down into Jersey, sucking softly on the delicate skin of his neck.

  “I think we’re definitely skipping the movie,” Travis rumbled again and Jersey took that opportunity to remove one hand from his pants and grip the back of his head, guiding him back into a scorching kiss.

  They made out for a little while longer until Travis reluctantly removed himself to go shower. When he was changed and ready to go, he gently took Jersey’s hand and guided him back out of the house and down the steps to his car. He pinned Jersey to the driver’s side door for a moment, staring down at his sexy boyfriend. And after one final sweet press of lips, he opened the door for Jersey and then made his way around to climb in the passenger side. Jersey started the car and reached over to grab his hand. He brought it up to his lips for a tender kiss and then started the drive toward downtown for their date.

  ~

  The restaurant was a happy medium between casual and upscale with linen napkins and a candle on the table. They’d been shown to a table by a sweet young woman who offered to take their drink orders, and once she returned, she placed their drinks down along with a basket of rolls and told them their server would be along shortly.

  After reviewing the menu and placing their orders, they finally got back to sharing their conversation.

  “Did you think you’d be available to help Brian this weekend?” Jersey asked after taking a drink of his soda.

  “What’s this weekend?” Travis asked, tilting his head a little. “I don’t know anything about helping Brian. You mean Josh’s dad?”

  Jersey nodded. “Josh texted earlier asking if we’d be available to help his dad move this weekend. I assumed you got the same text. It seemed like Cory was going to be asking the whole baseball team so they could get things done quicker.”

  Travis shrugged and reached into his pocket to grab his phone. Checking the display, he did have two messages, one from Jersey in response to his work shenanigans and one from Cory, asking about the upcoming weekend.

  “I’m available. I hadn’t checked my phone since work, I guess. A certain someone has had my attention since I walked out the door at work and found him leaning enticingly against his car,” Travis said, pinning Jersey with a heated look.

  “Mmm. I would apologize, but I’m not really sorry,” Jersey replied, holding Travis’s gaze across the small table. He reached out his hand and teasingly stroked h
is fingers between Travis’s where they rested lightly on the tabletop. The touch was just a barely there brush of his fingers, but Travis felt the sensuality behind the delicate move and savored the contact. Sometimes hot and heavy was amazing and he wondered if he could actually get close enough to Jersey, but the way Jersey was barely touching him then made the move almost more erotic.

  Travis held Jersey’s gaze and they stared at each other, letting the rest of the world fall away. The silence between them screamed of unspoken affection and desire and neither of them seemed to need to fill the silence with conversation.

  Travis wondered if he would feel as comfortable with anyone else. Jersey was drawing him out of his shell. He wouldn’t say he’d been lonely for the last several years, but he had wondered if he’d ever find someone that looked at him the way Jersey was looking at him. It was amazing to be on the receiving end of that smolder.

  When their meal finally arrived, they ate in relative silence, simply enjoying being together.

  Jersey offered a few bites of his lamb to Travis, who in return shared some of his shrimp and pasta. And when their waiter inquired if they’d be interested in dessert, Jersey replied that he already had dessert waiting for him.